Don't worry I'm always the first to poke fun at myself, thinking back to when I was 19 and getting married, I'm in awe of my ambition, only to remember the horror that was my first few years of marriage. Talk about rude awakening! I've always loved John, first date, first kiss, first time holding hands. But no one cares about that when your up all night with a crying baby while your man is out clubbing with his work mates. I'm laughing as I type this, but I actually remember crying waiting all night for him to come home, stubborn as, I wouldn't go to sleep till he got home, so I endured the whole night, picturing all the bad things he's doing, only to find out that he didn't even go out and just slept on a friends couch. lol. I think newly wed brides should get regular mental health checks, because I know my head was not right! I suppose you buy into the fairytale of happily ever after, then your poor husband has to deal with his shattered partner because she has just realised she didn't marry prince charming.
Thankfully, we both figured out a way to love each other, to put up with each others bull shit, and not fight. key to a relationship, learning how to not to fight. lol.
It doesn't mean that John still doesn't piss me off. It just means that, he can piss me off today, but i'll still love him tomorrow. Forgive and forget, quickly!
I think most guys are under the impression that they are really funny. this doesn't seem to wear off with age either, but learning to take a joke was another hard lesson learnt. Now John calls me a slut and we both crack up laughing, times have changed thats for sure!
I started to write this because it'll be my 15th wedding anniversary soon. I was thinking the other day about my wedding, this is what I remember.
My fav part of the day was ditching the reception to get icecream on Surrey Cres in Grey Lynn with Rita and George.
The worst part of the day was turning up to our bed and breakfast only to realise it was a shared bathroom and we were surrounded by lots of gay couples hahaha!
Sitting by myself in my lounge watching x-men waiting for somebody to pick me up for the wedding, only to have my dad run in saying sorry he forgot about me! lol,
The part that made me cry. Elia playing the piano, Lilo singing. never forget it.
Jasmine as the flower girl, and Stacey living it up on the head table coz I didnt want to sit there, so she held the fort!
Nathan would have been five, everytime he would run past any male, they would hold their crutch in fear of Nathans notorious perfectly aimed punches, so funny now, but maybe not so funny for those that got hit!
I remember the cake was too hard to cut, and I remember thinking 'see it's a sign!' can't even cut the damn cake.
Dad playing only his music at the reception..Chicago and the Eagles and he even snuck in some thin lizzy? wth?
Watching Johns dad give his speech in Samoan, he was so nervous
Our second reception at the Hunts, where I finally got to eat and lie down and have a rest.
My Marriage, is not a perfect one. It never will be. I am not a perfect person, neither is my husband. I'd like to think that we have grown up a bit, but some would still beg to differ..(only the ones that know us well!)
Funnily enough, I am grateful for everything that I have been through, not that iv'e had a hard life, but when you have a baby young, sometimes people make you feel like your 'bad'. Well i'm not bad, i'm not a bad person and I wasn't a bad person when I was 19. The things that brought the most strife and heartache to me was never my husband, it was always being judged. Judged by people that I grew up with, judged by those who barely even knew my name. A lot of friends quickly dissapeared once I had Kalara, (no grudges) and I can say that since then, my greatest friends have appeared.
I feel like, the second that you judge somebody, you yourself will one day be judged in return. I was told by a church member that I never should have gotten married and that I should have given Kalara away at birth. This hurt me to no end to think that someone, who didn't even know me, thought that I wasn't fit to be a mother, esp after tryng so hard to BE a MOTHER. Maybe I have over compensated for this feeling by having 6 more children, but 15 years ago when I was faced with these words, I could have easily crumbled. I felt like it, many times, give up, give on the marriage, run away, these are things that became options because somebody planted that doubt in my head. Should my daughter, or any teenager I know, face a pregnancy, I hope that the adults that surround them have enough sense to support them instead of laying judgement.
Anyway, on a lighter note (forgive the rant) I appreciate that we have had a circle of people around us that have supported us and loved us, and my crew. Without those friends and family, I would be one hundred times more mental than I already am. Thank you, you know who you are
So I suppose I should give a shout out to my hubby, since it is our wedding anniversary, for always supporting me, loving me and putting up with the grouch. You know you've been married for too long when you no longer care about your appearance, when your husband looks at you when you get in the car and says, wanna brush your hair? I say, wanna dress the kids, feed the kids, pack the car and clean before we go?? haha, If you know my man, you know that he is a good man. He knows his role (jabroni) and always tries his best to be a great Dad to our kids. the thing that I love the most though, is that over the last 15 years, I have kicked him out several times, let him back in, swore at him, and I may have hurt his thumb once lol, I've sulked and moaned and complained, but regardless, he still loves me.
If, by some small chance, I should tell John how wonderful he is, you can guarantee he will say "don't tell me, tell your friends." So consider them told hun. xx Happy Anniversay to US.
