I had to stop right there, rewind a bit, and tell myself to breathe.
Since when was my life an ancient one? since when did my childhood require a good 5 minutes to remember the details or be so long ago that its referred to as the "olden days".
Did I get old. Am I Old?? I'm laughing, but not really, just a fake laugh to soothe the 'crap I am old' thought that just entered my head. I look at Levi and explain to him that the good old days are Pre 1980. I make the cut because I was born in 1980. Sorry to John who was born in 1978. hahaha. you are old hun.
I am not old. I am 33. that's young isn't it? I feel young, I know I don't look young, but I've never cared for what other people think, so in my head and my space, I'm still young. I still listen to cool music and get excited when I get my hands on a new album. I'm down, I'm hip. And then again, if you use the words, cool, down and hip, then maybe you are old.
I will say that I'm not old ......fashioned. I may be ageing gracefully (not) and trying to reverse all the effects of child birth, late nights and bad food, but I still know whats cool. At least I think I do.
Cool things for me include. Clean house. Clean children. Quiet children. Quiet husband. Pinterest. Oh dear.
Start again.
I know whats not cool.
A conversation with the 14 year old and within maybe 30 seconds of her explanation of her day, she has said the word 'like' a good 20 times. That's not cool. that's just annoying.
Talk to Deon, 30 seconds with her and she has told me that I need to fix my hair, there is no food (to her liking) and that she need new runners because her friends got new ones. You know the Nike free runs 5.0. That's not cool either.
Things like the word SWAG. Do not use the word swag. First of all it is a stupid word, second of all, what the hell does it mean anyway. Oh you got swag, because your pants hit the floor or your skinny jeans make you look like your gonna cry from the extreme tightness. Sorry to all the people I know that rock skinny jeans, I'm talking about the extreme skinny. Like, you may as well have worn your sisters tights today, kind of skinny.
Jeggings are not cool, they are ugly. They are just a more stupid version of the extremely skinny jeans. Lol.
Rude people, nosey people and judgy judgy people. they aren't cool either.
My hair is not cool. Yes I still have curls that refuse to cooperate with me on a daily basis.
Sugar is not cool. My recent war against sugar is turning into a slight obsession. Whilst I'm still to master the art of eliminating it, reading and understanding what sugar does to your body. very uncool!
okay maybe only old people rave about health issues.
Anyway, since when did your age affect how cool you were. Stop worrying, its not till your children tell you that you're not cool that you need to worry. That hasn't happened to me yet. YET. They have told me that I'm not funny, "no mum you're not funny." But I am funny, I'm sure of it. Don't they know humor comes with age!
I think that when you start turning the music down because its too loud and cringe at teenagers clothing, you might be getting older. Older is a better word. I am getting older.. therefore I must be getting wiser. That would be the concept. Good concept, if it were true. I have learnt from my mistakes, taken trials turned them into triumphs, but I am still none the wiser. I still leave my wallet at the supermarket, I still cant read a map, even when I've studied it and think I have it sussed, on the road, you can guarantee I'll point you in the wrong direction. I left my youngest child at my sisters house one day, packed the kids in the car and we drove off, only to hear Riley ask why Fellyn wasn't in her car seat! You can prob put that down to too many kids. I'll cop that one. OR when a lady driving past stopped me and my daughter and asked for directions to the police station, I confidently pointed to the left and explained where to go only to turn around to my daughter shaking her head "No mum you just sent her to the Fire station" safe to say we were rolling around on the street laughing, till we saw her car again and quickly ran away. Trust me I have plenty of stories like this.
On a serious note... the older I get, the more I am able to look back and laugh (or cry), sometimes I look back at my life and just shake my head. at least now that I am OLD, I have a few more skill sets to help me deal with those shake your head moments. At least with age comes experience. I have experienced a lot of dumb stuff and a lot of good stuff, all the stuff combines together to make me who I am, what I know and gives me the leverage I need to instruct and teach my kids. I realised the other day that Lara was going to be 15 next year, I said this out loud to John on a drive home, I also said to him "Do you know what I was getting up to when I was 15?" He just nodded and said, "lucky shes not like you." That's for sure, and its because of my experience and AGE that I can steer her in the right direction. something Ill be doing for long time to come.
Tell me that the ageing process will be kind to me. Tell me that growing older will grant me more wisdom and less durrr moments. Tell me that my kids will love me regardless of my uncool and old fashioned ways.
Tell me, my son asked me. I think I will just tell him, that yes I am old, I lived in the 'olden' days and I have plenty of stories for you. So next time Levi asks me about those 'days of old', I may be able to give him the answer he wants instead of trying to weasel out of it.
Cheers to my friends out there, because if I'm old, then you guys are too! LOVE YA!
