School and Hugs.

Sometimes the weeks go by so fast, I cant even keep up with what day it is. This past couple weeks have been so busy, number six started school, stationery for six kids almost sent me to the poor house, bus cards, shoes, bags. socks and fees. I'm still reeling from the actual cost of it all. I know this time of year will always be expensive, but I still seem to get caught out on something. Number one is still wearing a school shirt that is too small, she reminds me everyday, succeeding in making me feel like the worst mother in the world. Number two thinks her bag is falling apart, when in reality its fine, she has forgotten the coolness that duck tape has to offer. Sometimes it doesn't matter how much you buy or spend, someone is always disappointed. I watch my kids walk out the door, nikes on their feet, billabong bags and ipods plugged into their ears and I realise that my kids can go without. 
Its so easy to get caught up in who's got the latest and what label. One of my twins told me they NEEDED a Gshock watch. not wanted, needed. I didn't even bother answering. Sometimes its better to just say nothing, the other option involves some less dignified language.
You always want your kids to have the best and look the best, you want them to be happy to feel accepted by their friends, but I'm starting to think that my kids need to learn a lesson in being grateful for what they have. Go get 'em child number two saved hard for her ipod, did jobs and got money for preforming at school, she saved the whole $200.00. she now looks after it and is so careful with it. I ended up feeling sorry for number one because she didn't have an ipod so i gave her my old one. She saved no money towards it even though she does just as much work as her sister. She just spent her money on lollies. I felt gulity because I wanted  her to have the lastest gadget like her friends and her sister. I know now that I got suckered in. Now she thinks she can get what ever she wants just by asking really nicely and smiling with that hopeful tinge to her eye, not for actually earning it. Lesson learnt. We now call Kalaras ipod the pity pod.

I'm finding my eight year old twins are starting to 'care'. They care about their hair, their teeth, which bag they're using. Its so funny watching them get ready for school, they would never admit its because there's a girl girls, but you can tell when they give each other the double eyebrow raise, giving each other that reassurance "yeah you look good".  They've got their own silent language, must be a twin thing. Last year was very different, I would watch my twins walk out the door with 4 different sized and coloured socks between them. This was part of my teaching them all to get themselves ready for school. A bit of a fail when the teacher asks you at parent teacher interviews if they may be colour blind. I just reassured her that were just to lazy to fish out matching pairs of socks, which in turn made ME look lazy for not doing that for them :)
I would ask them what kind of hair cut they wanted and it was always "like dads", that is easy for me, I can do a number one easy, but now its all fade this and fringe this and what the heck is a metro cut? Well that is a lie. I know Sonny Bill very well.
My boys used to be more interested in hiding their transformers in their pockets, but always I would see bumblebees legs sticking out of their hip. Sometimes id call them back and march them back to their room to return their bloody expensive toys, most days id just let them go just to watch the look on their face when they had made across the road without being snapped. I'm 99% sure they would hi five each other once I was out of sight.

Number Five. My Riley. She does not care. She doesn't care if her shirt is dirty, half hanging out, undies showing socks missing or hair almost out. you know when the hair tie just sits right on the end of the hair.. almost out. I promise when she walks out my door all hair is intact and all clothing are sitting in the correct places. I take no responsibility for how she looks on the way home.
She is the most lovable, most funny kid. She always has been. She has no shame, although that is slowly starting to fade, she will still dance like no ones watching and still grins at us when she sees that we are. She is lucky to have a great set of school friends, they are all she talks about and when at school they are her backup and her fun. What I love the most is that one is Maori and one is Fijian. It gives me great pleasure that she gets to hang out with a brown crew, no discrimination against the beautiful blonde kids but there something different about polynesian kids finding each other. Funny for Riley though she is my fairest child, teachers struggle to make the connection between her and her siblings as they all have their fathers dark hair and dark eyes, but Riley was blessed with my sunkissed blonde hair and bronze skin. hahahahaaa. she is also blessed with a healthy appetite (like her mother) and a beautiful tummy to match (like her father)  like her mother. lets be honest now Lani.
One thing I hope she never changes is her crazy laugh. Maniacal laugh, which usually occurs whilst running or when trying to get away from her fathers tickles. Its so pure that laugh, its tooo loud and she laughs for too long. She usually gets told off for it, be quiet your too loud. Scratch that my girl. you laugh as loud as you like. I only wish I had the same ability to throw caution to the wind and laugh like that. Cons of growing old, you know people are watching. Pros of being a kid. you don't care.

I could write about Riley forever, shes a source of lots of laughs in our house. Almost a sad feeling when you write about your kids, you know that once the day is finished, you can never get that day back. I tried to tell my 5 year old that if she didn't learn her letters today then she wouldn't know them for school tomorrow. She proceed to tell me that she has a teacher now so no longer needs my input on the matter. Kids change so much once they start school, almost instantly they don't need you anymore. Taylor is naturally a quiet and shy kid. However, her mean streak is not to be messed with, you get the devils eye if she doesn't know you and your standing in her house and will only warm to you if you are family or staying at our place for more than a week.  Before she started school, I was tryng to excite her about school and being able to make new friends she said to me "But I already have friends" I said to her "Who?" She replied to me "Nathan is my friend". I had to laugh, Nathan is her 18year old uncle who was home with us most days last year. He taught her how to kick box and punch with gloves. Some great life skills for a little girl. She was adamant though. She didn't need new friends. She had Nathan.
So my five years with her have run away from me now. I usually look forward to kids starting school, more space for my head to recover from the mornings and be ready for the afternoon onslaught. Now I'm a little deflated knowing that she wont be my pre-schooler anymore.

Now my services are needed only for the dumb stuff. Feed me, wash this, I need money and guess what is sooo awesome, I get to be the someone to go to when they need to tell on someonelse (500x a day)! I want to do the cool stuff still, stay up late with her, sneak out for late night feeds once the big kids are asleep. now its go to bed, you'll be tired for school tomorrow, and no don't give her that she'll rot her teeth.
I think Taylor will survive her early days at school, as for her mother, I think she needs some kind of detachment ceremony to stop her from pining for what was. Don't talk to me when number seven starts school in 3 years time. I'll be a blubbering mess. And I dont cry (much).
Common sense tells me that my kids still need me for all emotional and spiritual support, there are still endless words of wisdom I have yet to share. It just FEELS like its all maid work sometimes. So far I'm coping via lots of hugs from the kids. Riley's hugs are the kind that give you a sore back instantly beacause she puts all her weight into it and hugs me like a one year old does, all grip and head burrowed in. Riley is 6, almost 7 and bigger than her older twin brothers. Easy to say that she heavy. but ill take it, they make me feel like im being a good mum. When they all try to get in for a cuddle at the same time, that usually ends up in me leaving the room, several fights, a hair pull and someone crying. Leaving the room is purely a precautionary measure.
I was talking about my kids growing up and going to school, but it seems to have turned into hug descriptions. haha. Im tired. Fellyn is hugging my neck in a hug/choke hold as I type. Actually Fellyn is the exception (for now). I am over hugging her. I hug her allllll day long. Hug her while I'm doing dishes, cooking. sitting on the toilet, I hug her till she sleeps. Her word 'hug' is very tricky, its her way of getting picked up. I mean who denys a child a hug when asked?? only horrible mothers. So I'm not a horrible mother, I am a martyr to the cause of my two year olds need to not walk anywhere because she needs a hug. Lets just say staying home with one child really isn't the piece of cake thought id be eating.

So my advice to my friends and my family, at whatever stage of life/marriage/kids you are at, enjoy it all, once the days are gone, they are gone forever. Enjoy the dumb times, the poor times and the funny for no reason times. does that even make sense? I know if I look hard enough ill find the perfect quote for you all. but I cant be stuffed. I give some powerful words advice! Ha!
So here's to the education system. A wonderful system, gets our kids learning and achieving. however, I hope you know you are also responsible for changing my kids from my babies to big kids, and costing me a fortune every year without fail. Oh well, always look at the bright side of life..... Hunky Hubby says that the quicker they grow up the earlier he can retire and they can look after us!

                            Riley at her best. And Fellyn propbably crying for a hug :)